In case you were wondering, my kids are average

You know those parents who are always bragging about their kids’ amazing achievements? Well, I sometimes (though not too often, I hope) find myself doing the same thing. But there’s one big difference. I recognize that although my kids can be great at some things (e.g., my 3-1/2 year-old has known all the letters of the alphabet for over 2 years and started reading words during the summer) they’re basically, overall, AVERAGE.

My totally awesome, you’re-lucky-if-you-get-to-meet-her daughter has the sass of an average 18-year-old (and, believe me, I really dislike that about her). My could-do-practically-anything-if-he-tried son does just about nothing (well, unless you count lying around in his bed and watching Pokemon cartoons on an iPod as doing something). My I’m-not-sure-if-her-father-is-Japanese* daughter has great people skills, but getting her through school is quite a challenge. My 6-going-on-16 year old daughter can whine any kid out of this town. It’s really a shame there’s no World Whining Record (and corresponding prize) because she’d totally win it. I mean, the other kids would meet her and they’d just back out because they’d know they were beat without even trying. My feisty-little-five-year-old is quick to beat on anyone in her path. And she’s constantly stepping on everything and falling off of everything (not necessarily the same everythings). You know those kids who sit with half their tushes off the chair. That’s her. And she’ll inevitably fall and drag half the tablecloth and everything on it with her. My little one is really the cutest child who’s ever walked the planet. (Oh, you have one of those too?) But he gets so obsessive about things that he can completely drive you out of your mind. Like he’s looking for a really specific toy. So specific that if you have two identical ones, he can tell them apart. And he doesn’t want the one you just found. He wants the other one. And guess what? He really *can* tell them apart. And he’ll continue pestering you until he gets it.

So, while I love my kids, they’ve all definitely got their quirks and it’s going to take quite a while until they’re as perfect as I am… (oops. That was the keyboard going without my brain…) What I meant to say was that when I look at my kids I see the good with the bad and when I put it all together, they come out just about average. Some days are better, some worse. Overall – average.

*Yes, I really once said that to someone when I wasn’t paying attention. No, her father’s not Japanese, his parents were from Algeria – and I’m absolutely positive that I know who her father is.