Hadas was born in 1993. I remember being so surprised at her blue eyes, sitting and just staring at her when they brought her into my hospital room. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do with her and she seemed so calm that I didn't want to disturb her. When I brought her home, I was equally clueless. Was I supposed to entertain her? Read her stories? How often was I supposed to change her diapers? Her clothes? Breastfeeding went fairly smoothly and I loved being a mommy. Hadas spent almost all day awake. She'd wake up early in the morning and go to sleep late at night, seeming to want to soak up everything there was to learn. I remember the sudden understanding that my freedom was pretty much gone. That from then on, I'd have to plan things, I'd have to take her with me everywhere... that I had a huge responsibility.
In 1995, I found out that I was pregnant with twins. I was happy that they weren't my first. I can't imagine how people cope with twins when everything's so new and confusing... Matan and Lilach (b/g) were born in June 1996. They were very demanding babies and I had to set my goals very low. To shower and get dressed each day, to eat at least one meal while sitting down for more than 2 minutes, etc. I exclusively breastfed both until they were 5 months old & continued until they were 9 months old. I remember realizing suddenly one day that neither of them had nursed for an entire hour... I quickly checked on them to make sure everything was OK. I never asked my ex to get up for the kids and he never did. Not once. One night I decided to write down how many times I was getting up during the night - I quit when I hit 14... I was so incredibly tired that I remember almost nothing from then. When they were 15 months, I decided it was time to go back to school, time to start doing something for myself. So when they napped, I studied. I successfully took (and passed) 3 courses that semester. When they were 18 months old, we moved to Modiin and I signed them up for daycare and started reclaiming my life. I stayed home for another year, taking as many courses as I could, and spending the afternoons alone with Hadas (after school). Matan and Lilach stayed in daycare until 3:30 or 4.
In February 1999, I lucked upon a job that ended up opening a lot of doors for me. I was hired to learn technical writing and do odd writing jobs in the office. Everything in hi-tech was booming and I had incredible opportunities, just because they needed the manpower and I was willing to jump in. Within less than a year, I'd moved into the GUI group (graphical user interface), where I found that the work was much more interesting and challenging. The most amazing thing was that I could depend on the people I worked with. It also made me realize how bad the emotional abuse in my marriage was.
In February 1999, Ohad started working at the same company, exactly a week after I did.
5 years ago